Jon: I’ll say the organization, it’s Sauron, the Eye of Sauron. So there’s a sense that they have been singled out purely because of their political beliefs. To be profiled like that must be very upsetting.
Bill: Well, you know, we set bonfires and Alan Colmes is tied up and thrown in…
Jon: It’s just that to be lumped in with people based solely on one factor is, it’s unfair, I guess is what I‘m saying. It’s unfair. It’d be like, let’s say somebody committed an act of terror and we took their whole religion and we lumped them all in for special singling out.
Bill: That’s a very interesting analogy. So A act of terror, not 14,600 acts of terror. I mean I’m just doing the math here. If they keep mounting up, MAYBE you do a little profiling.
Jon: So you’re okay with profiling as long as it’s people…
Bill: Once it gets to 14,000 acts of terror, I think we oughta move in a little.
Jon: So 14,000 is the limit?
Bill: Yeah, you leave the Bulgarians alone and you kinda go into the Middle East there.
Jon: How many shootings are in this country?
Bill: In this country? Every year? I’m not quite sure. How many?
Jon: I think it’s like 30,000. 30,000 deaths between homicide and suicide. Do you think we should start profiling?
Bill: Of who? Dead people?
Jon: No, the people with the guns. It raises above your 14,000 incident threshold is what I’m saying.
“And I know what you’re thinking. This is Apple. They believe in simplicity. They wouldn’t use complexity just when it suits their own business needs.”
- Jon Stewart on how Apple avoided paying taxes on $44B of offshore income.
“So, no. You alone don’t get to come to the victory parade for the Republicans.”
“History didn’t start Friday And Obama Administration transgressions don’t wipe away yours, which are many und grievous So, enjoy watching your friends have their fun, but Tweetle Dick and Tweetle Rum don’t get to join the party.”
On last night’s Daily Show, Jon Stewart covered the 2013 NRA Convention, complete with a Yoda impression.
