Navigator: Can I have your name please?
Stephen: First name is Stephen.
Stephen: Uh p-h please. P-h. I’m not an animal.
Navigator: And your middle name or middle initial?
Stephen: Tryone. Mosdef. Last name Colbert.
Navigator: Do you have a suffix?
Stephen: I do. It’s DFA Heavyweight Champion of the World featuring…
Navigator: Oh there’s more?
Stephen: Featuring FloRida.
Navigator: Featuring flow rider.
Never gonna get old, no matter how many times he does it.
Why, in all my years of watching, have I never noticed the credits for The Colbert Report?
You don't want to have a wedding in your apartment. We should be renting out the Plaza and it should be so fancy that Bane from the Batman movies busts in through a skylight, slits my throat and then takes you as prisoner.
Tom Hardy takes me as a sex prisoner?